Anorexic Escapades

Corey Baptiste & David Abodji for Harper’s Bazaar UK ‘Romeo and Juliet’

Want to know why every holiday season you get huger than last? No it’s not the endless holiday desserts or bottomless glasses of eggnog nor the cold nights that provokes snacking while bundled up watching a movie. You gain more weight around this time of year because you can’t get over that loser so his non presence at your family and work holiday functions drive you to fill that void of a man that you’ll never have again with carbohydrates.

Just like there is a process to getting fit, same goes for getting over someone.

First, you have to figure why you can’t let go. Most of us are waiting on someone we don’t deserve based on unrealistic wants, others still enjoy sex with the low-life, and the rest feel like we can’t find better. Not to mention we constantly ignore the person right in front of our face that’s good for us.

Second, you have to consider what it is you’re letting go. Is the lost better than the gain? No more sleepless nights, anxiety of not know you are being considered as much as you consider and no more being dissatisfied with your love life.

Third, be honest with yourself to understand your part for why you continue to hold onto a hollow relationship. As well as, admitting your fault in the failure of the relationship. Many times we want to blame the world for our displeasure when we have just as much to do with the downward spiral as the lame we keep holding on to.

Fourth, cut off all communication with the loveless lover, including friends, family and frequent places you once patron together. Move on with your life you don’t need constant reminders, you can’t progress if you’re continuing to revisit old situations.

Fifth, get to know yourself and accept you for who you are in order to become who you aim to be. Relationships don’t define a person but the action you display while in one or out of one does. Some people grow howbeit, apart or together. You are not the same doe-eyed love hungry person now that you were when you first went out together. It’s okay to want new things that may not include your current status. Showing up alone to holiday soirees isn’t the worst thing in world. Yes, people may ask you where’s your date but that beats them gossiping about your uninhabitable dead-end relationship.

Sixth, don’t make someone else’s problems yours. The worst thing you can do is stay in a rut of a relationship for the matter of appearances or not to hurt someone’s feelings. That does a disservice to you and keeps the other party from finding a perfect match for them. That is why many relationships plateau because no one have a desire to move to the next level but don’t want to breakup in order of not being hurt.

The best way to get over a relationship is to get over you. Stop giving yourself reasons to stay and just sever ties, cut your losses and move on. We all choose the romantic lives we lead. So while you’re doing something you don’t want to do because you don’t want to deal with the reality you’re only ruining yourself for the next person. Stop being greedy, let them have someone else.

One of the many amazing things about being an adult is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Take ownership of your life and act accordingly. If it’s not for the betterment or progression of your life then let it fall to the side. Like those ‘love’ handles.

Tags: Corey Baptiste, dating, David Abodji, health, healthy-living, holiday parties, love, relationship, relationships, sleepless nights