“The squirrel that rovers gets the nuts.” -My fortune cookie today at my boyfriend’s farewell lunch.
In the last month I haven’t been feeling like myself my workouts been slacking, I’ve been putting things off and I haven’t been mentally present in general. I knew this day was going to come, in fact I promoted it and urged it. I love the see the people around me flourish and be apart of their triumphs. I do all that I can to support even if it means giving them hard, unfiltered truths. However, for every great leap I notice of my peers, confidant and colleges I can’t help but to realized the barely visible footprints I’m making.
Have you ever wanted so much but don’t know where to start or how to go about it to achieve it? Ever find yourself convincing yourself that your current situation or past achievements are enough only to quiet that voice in the back of your mind screaming to you all the things you haven’t done and how much time you’ve wasted? It’s tough knowing you should do more and well aware of your capabilities but being bonded by those same self realizations.
I’m man make of opportunity. I know that we as individuals have control of our lives, make our own choices and create our own destiny. I also know that if I want something I have to go out and do it. But what I have a hard time with is trying to organize such a plan when I only see failure. I grew up always taking a chances, waiting on the universe or crossing that bridge when I got to it, granted I managed to get the things I desired but in doing so it left me unprepared for the road ahead.
What I mean by this is, I’m always looking for the other shoes to drop that I never step out on my own strength. The worst thing for me in all my hopes and dreams is that with all the prepping, saving and hard work will possibly lead to falling short of my goal. This then spirals in a mental tug of war with hating my current situation and knowing I’m the only reason I’m here and the only person who can get me out of it. Trying to get yourself out of this dark hole I find other project that takes my mind off the real problem, I become complacent and I quit all things involved with getting me to my goal. This has to cease, just like forming the abs of my dreams even after all the healthy eating and repetitive workouts I can’t give up because I’m not seeing instant results. It’s about finding the problem, building a plan around it and seeing it through. We all develop at different paces as in life not every success story is the same or the blueprint to ours. We must take greatness of other as resources to fuel our own.
As I sent my boyfriend off to the next chapter of his life I’m declaring that it will be sending myself of next. Only you can get yourself to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I hate thinking can I please just have some ice cream?!