Tag Archives: dating

If Words Were Food.

17 Apr

While I was home visiting my family and friends one thing I avoided other than the dessert laded dining room table was dead conversations.

As adults we become more conscious about the things we put into our mouths as our metabolism slows down in the efforts of a dwindling waistline. With age are we as focused on the things that come out our mouths? Are we satisfied with the conversations we have with our peers? Are the same topics up for discussion as we sat around the lunch table in high school? Have these repetitive and exhausted conversations caused many friendships to dwindle?

Conversation content is how we connect with people; it is what help grow a relationship or cause a relationship to evaporate.

The best part of my visit home was realizing how my friends and I have grown so much. Yes some are pudgier than last year so are their kids but the things we share and talk about are vast, real and exciting.

Topics we talked about in our teens and early twenties aren’t even a slight interest to us now. The conversations I had with friends over lunch were so enthralling and refreshing I forgot to eat. For me, that’s beyond a win.

This got me to thinking, conversation content is key. It’s not how often you talk to a person that gauges or grow your relationship is about what exactly are you discussing and sharing.

What I’ve noticed is that with age comes not only a different focus but a certain level of honest. My conversations with my friends, family and more importantly my parents are more eye opening, relative and authentic. The topics we converse about I don’t think I would ever shared 10 years ago.

Even in dating, where once I was content with knowing about a guy’s favorite food, color, movie and designer now I care about children, education, health, religion, finances, upbringing, and sometimes politics or sex.

Many people I’ve interacted with say that if someone can’t hold a decent conversation then there is no reason in continuing. I believe that anyone can hold a conversation just what about.

Some people are going to be stuck in their heydays, high school or gossiping about others to avoid the things they are dealing with in their lives as well as, people who make every conversation about something negative in their life or one upping you with their successes. I know for me those are some reasons why I don’t pick up the phone or keep dates with people.

A part of having style is being able to maneuver in any setting, same for conversation.

What is unsettling with me is having a conversation with someone my age and they aren’t well informed or the content is juvenile.

Reevaluate the reason you have/haven’t kept in contact with certain people. I’m sure it’s due to the content of your conversations. Also, ask yourself, are you challenging these people with the topics you discuss?


Fly Away Fatty

24 Feb

Vogue Hommes Japan Summer 2013 Issue 6Coat: Prada

This morning I had to finally admit something to myself on my quest of waist invisibility, I’m a yo-yo dieter. There I said it! This admission of guilt came to me after being snowed in the past three days; not being able to go to the gym and trying with all my inner thin strength not to empty my refrigerator into my stomach.

Lucky for me I have a fitness ball, 15lbs dumbbells and a will not to be a fat greasy pig so, I turned my dining room area into workout central. Thank you Skinny-Jesus I didn’t gain a pound.

However, that wasn’t the only weigh-in I made these few caged in days. Not only am I up and down on the scale I’m the same in my love life. I’m constantly yo-yoing with my feelings on the idea of dating.

More specifically how I’m growing from a person that prefers and thrive off long distance relationships to someone who may actually want to date someone in driving, more so running distance ( to burn off the weight love makes you gain.)

Since the start of my dating life I have proclaimed and enjoyed pursuing men miles away. One factor has been the size of the town I reside in, I am a very private person that doesn’t like to disclose who I’m dating with others. It was 3yrs before I introduced my boyfriend to my family and that was after we broke up.

I love my space, I like to know where everything is and not having to follow someone around making sure they aren’t disturbing the feng shui of my palacio abode. I can be sometime-y with my affection; just because today we cuddle and had a long engaging conversation doesn’t me tomorrow I want to see your face. I can be very attentive and distance in a seven day time span, it has nothing to do with the person I’m dating or my dissipating love but everything to do with me adoring my personal space.

I’m the oldest child; I’ve always gone off from my family or group of friends and did my own thing. I shop alone, travel alone and prefer to shower alone. I’m very self-sufficient; I found, visited and moved two states away without any family to attended university.

I don’t like factoring someone else in my life. We all know a relationship is more than just you; it’s someone else’s thoughts, emotions and physical being involved. That’s a lot to deal with for instance, in the three years I was with my ex he slept over a total of eight times.

I don’t like to share my things or myself.

Now single, I’m gaining a desire to want a love interested in close proximity. I don’t know if it’s me wanting affection, sex or someone to beat when my scale don’t read right. I’m not saying I’m ready to move in with anyone, I don’t think that will every happen. But with all the guys I meet out of state I quickly grow uninterested.

Some of the reason I like guys out of state is that I know there isn’t a strong chance to get serious and I like that. I like being able to change my mind. Though as a guy who claims to “date to find a mate” I may be a walking contradiction.

I know within this digital age we have many mediums to keep in touch howbeit, is that satisfying over the physical? As much as I’m fond of airplane relationships I am growing tired of the monthly rendezvous only to return home to no one to unpack my bags or rub my thighs after overkill on the treadmill.

My biggest problem overall is finally admitting this as well as, wanting this after I ended it with my boyfriend that actually live here. I never thought I would be “that guy” I like not caring and being alone while having a boyfriend. I think the toughest part is admitting I’m changing on account of I spent my entire adult life cultivating the person I am today only to visualize being someone totally different.

What are your self realizations? Are your romantic desires the same today compared to when you first started dating? Do you look for a long distance relationship to avoid commitment?

Chew on that.

A Non-Fat Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

Vogue Hommes Japan Summer 2013 Issue 2Shirt/Sweater: Dior Homme

Today is the day that smitten couples like to celebrate their affection for one another by fattening each other up. There’s even an entire industry equating affection for obesity, from the candy filled chocolate heart aisle at the grocery, to the lover’s special at fancy restaurants and not to mention all the edible underwear on sale for a special Valentine’s treat (wink wink.)

Which reminds me, I’ve worked too hard getting this body back after all the gorging I did during Thanksgiving and Christmas just to look great naked for my lover on Valentine’s night. So, why in all things holy & skinny would I want to do anything that will bloat me before a night of passion?

I like romance and creativity just like anyone else, however I prefer mine not to include a double chin days later. Here’s “thinspiration” for Valentine dates and gifts that I’m doing with my special Valentine.

Stay Active: Instead of going to dinner opt for an adventure park; miniature golfing, wall climbing or boardwalk stroll. You’ll burn calories, bond over games and reconnect.

Travel: The money you’ll spend on flowers that will die, candy that will make them fat which will make you not love them anymore and sex they can have any other day, how about taking a trip. You two can get away, be alone, enjoy the sites and make new memories that are way better than a crappy card.

Pay a Bill: I don’t know about you but my favorite Valentine’s day gift was when my tuition was paid in full. Take the load off, people are still paying off holiday debt don’t go buy a mundane gift let them open a box that doesn’t have hundreds of calories but dollars.

Here’s to you having a non-fat Valentine’s Day night. Don’t say I didn’t get you anything.

Bon Appétit

Skinny Pretty People Problems

2 Dec

Adrien Sahores by Cécile Bortoletti9

A stylish skinny Sunday is what I’m going for today. Searching for thinspiration this morning for church attire, I stumbled upon these images of Adrien Sahores by Cécile Bortoletti for Commons&Sense Man. These shots totally describe my current mood. It’s 71 degrees in December here in Kansas. I’m not complaining however, with the sun out beaming and me all dressed up for church I can’t help this feeling of boredom and blah with everything right now. I know these feelings are only temporary neither a serious problem I just want to take in everything around me that’s beautiful. Recently I was talking with a guy that I’m very interested in romantically; he’s under the impression that I’ve lost interest in him because I’m not as energetic/talkative/nice as I was at the beginning. I’ve noticed that this has been the common census with all the guys I’ve pursued this year which, I think they all are crazy and expecting way too much from life. I’m very sometime-y when it comes to my feelings. My favorite uncle once told me if everyone is saying the same thing about you then it’s you with the problem. Its hard to believe perfect skinny me have any problems I’m beginning to realize that it’s not me with the problem but more so people misinterpreting my words/actions. I can’t be jolly everyday I mean that’s for fat people, not every question needs a full essay response, and just because I don’t want to talk to you today doesn’t mean I’m over you. People are allowed their own space. Yes, my mood shift but not for the worst. I’m one of those people that can be in a crowd of people or all by myself and be as content. I think he caught me on a day I rather not deal with humans. People sometimes can be a little selfish always wanting constant attention/affection/entertainment without considering the other person’s emotional state. I will admit I have a tendency to become very sarcastic for no reason. On the other hand I just don’t like when people want me to answer questions they can look up, assume I’m mad when I haven’t said anything or expecting constant praise. Eat a cake but don’t look towards me for monotonous emotional support. Like these photos everything around you may be picturesque; pretty face, wonderful setting, amazing clothing, perfect weight but you can just be over it all. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you don’t want it or enjoy it.

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