13 May

Legs (2)

Last week I almost die from embarrassment and the heat. The temperature prematurely sparked to 100 degrees and I was left without stylish short shorts as well as, like many of you lazy porkers I’ve just started my spring/summer diet. There I was stuffed in my denim with my massive thigh ill prepared for summer. This sparked up a great couple of days of self loathing, binge eating and devising a new plan on how to get ready for short shorts season. Also, how to wear them and who can wear them. Due to my struggles I now can help many of you fatties’ fellas wondering if you are too short or too big and help dispel myths that only guys with slim long legs can wear short shorts. I am here to let you men know just like the counterfeit bags on canal street in NYC I have a sure fire way to pull off some good counterfeit legs to work those short shorts this season.

There are a handful of men who were blessed with genetic gams perfection. We see them every day from fashion magazines to the basketball court. For the rest of us, a few little style tricks are a serious saving grace. To pull off those athletic legs for the spring/summer season in-between gym or spin class session I’ve come with easy ways to elongate the leg, give the illusion of a slimmer silhouette, and draw your eye to all of the right places.

The Holy Temple: From the time after you read this post till the last day of summer (Labor Day) you should live, breathe, dream and wake up in the gym. The gym is your new place of worship and the leg press is your alter. Men no matter what your size a little toning has never killed anyone (don’t quote me). If you are going to wear short shorts then please give on-lookers something to look at.

Thin tips.
• Leg press exercise builds the mass of the thighs. The main advantage of leg press is that compared to squats there isn’t any pressure on your back and you are able to exercise the leg muscles with heavy weights.
• Sissy squats also known as a “squat” is isolation exercise for the quadriceps that’s more similar to leg extensions.
• Treadmill, Stairmaster and elliptical exercises are great for cardio and toning (my go-to leg workout). Try for a minimum of two miles a day and add an incline every other day. If you don’t a have membership, get one or run outdoors up a hill and find 15 stairs to walk up and down 352 times to equal 1 mile. Up the stairs 152 times and down the stairs for 152 times.

Sun Kissed: No matter your nationality and skin tone, a faux glow goes a “long” way. A bronzed leg gives the appearance of longer legs. That extra shimmer is a helpful way to pull off those pint-sized shorts. If you are worried about bronzer and self-tanner being ordained for women then you shouldn’t be purchasing short shorts.

Thin glow tips.
L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Luminous Bronzer Self-Tanning Lotion or Dual Action Instant Bronzer Self-Tanning Face Lotion. I use these products every summer though one is for the face I use it on my legs because its less abrasive and gives a healthy golden glow that appears right away.
Olay Quench Body Lotion and Moisturizer Bars are products I have in all sizes to be sure that I’m able to take them everywhere. The lotion and soap keep your skin moisturized 24 hours which we all know that moisture makes your legs look lengthy and it has a shimmer agent that gives the long legged radiance need to strut around in short shorts.

Balancing Footwork: The style of shoe plays an important part in pulling off short shorts along with knowing your proportions. If you have shorter stems, better wear skin tone or metallic below ankle length shoes or sandal as they help continue the line of your legs. Do not use attention-seeking colors or high-strapped footwear, as they will only shorten your leg line. In addition, shorts with a little flare or pleat are brilliant; the flare effect makes your thighs appear leaner. Higher waist shorts will cut the size your gut while lengthen your legs. Don’t forget guys with larger calves should wear ankle socks or sandals with an ankle straps to create a bowling pin to affect a slender-like limb.

Thin shoes & cut tips.
• Zara has some cool below the ankle strap sandals and low quarter Chuck Taylors in white are always a winner.
• Penny Loafers & Moccasins come in great nude or natural colors. Doc Martens have cool metallic ankle platform boots.
• Cuffed, high-waist pleated and flare short by Dsquared2, Parke & Ronen and Dries Van Noten are great thinspirations to use a point of references when short shorts shopping.

Lastly, I didn’t mention shaving in my faux leg advice. If you don’t have thin or toned legs a hairless set of legs will give you a great false lengthy appearance when covering up those bumps and bruises the tanner. The shimmer will bounce off your legs perfectly.


3 Responses to “Faux-Legged.”

  1. Toastandgrits May 14, 2014 at 4:15 pm #

    cool picture …. you’re so flexible.

  2. growth factor June 10, 2014 at 4:18 am #

    I every time spent my half an hour to read this webpage’s
    articles all the time along with a mug of coffee.

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