Love Secretly Making You Fat?

14 May

Want to know how I really stay so thin? I stay single.

Whether you’re in love or breaking up why is it that relationships make people so fat?

Now that I’m back in Kansas I’ve been catching up with my buddies I left here during my gallivanting around Dallas. Sunday my friend we will call Sam short for Samantha (yes of Sex & the City I mean she did blow up dating Smith) and I went to the Kansas Wildlife Exhibit at Riverside Park here in Wichita to catch up.

Well here’s the thing Sam and his mate has been together a little over 3 months and when Sam walked up after a month of not seeing each other I was flabbergasted by his size.

Granted he’s 6’2 however he has had to put on more than a few lbs. Now I know the meaning of love handles. Being the true skinny friend I am I had to say something “wow you’re fat are you depressed?” To his response “no, I’m in love.”

Omg, if that’s what love do keep it away from me.

Same with another friend that’s going through a breakup whom I like to call the Human Garbage Disposal. This breakup has her devouring anything edible and from the size of her blouse that’s debatable.

I think the worst thing you can do is forget about your waistline when in or exiting a relationship because two things will happen; (1) Your mate will tire of you, (2) When it’s time to start dating again no one will want you and nobody likes a fatty.

Redefine Date Night: Don’t eat out every night cook at home at least you can portion control your meal. A date doesn’t consist of entering a restaurant, join a gym together or go running at a park together. Do active things together. Don’t be afraid to tell you mate their getting a little hefty as long as you’re staying in the gym yourself of course. Don’t be a hippo calling the elephant enormous.

Revenge is Best Severed Stealth: Don’t turn to food after being dumped. Run don’t walk to your nearest gym. The best way to get back at an ex is to look amazing and you can’t do that porky.

Remember You: All too often we (I mean you) grow too comfortable when in love some have the mentality “well I got my mate I can skip a workout or two” how you get them is how you keep them. Do let yourself go because you left the dating game. Give them something to show off.

Now that I’ve given you some of my deliciously genius advice I am really loving the weather in Kansas currently. I was able to wear my boomer I got from Target a couple of months ago for 12 dollars with my Jayhawks snapback for 25 bucks.

It’s funny because I sold the expensive boomer I bought from Hollister last summer because I thought Military boomers were over.


3 Responses to “Love Secretly Making You Fat?”

  1. Erin May 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

    But if your partner gets bigger it’s really slimming

  2. Amanda {} May 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    haha this post is great….uuum..I seemed to lose weight when I went through break ups…because I don’t drown my sorrows in food…I usually don’t eat…but I guess that’s not good either
    I say why not take your sadness and frustrations out at the gym or running it off…instead of just sitting around eating!
    haha…and I tend to stay thin being in a relationship too! I want to always ‘look good’ for my significant other!!


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