Your Dad,”The Fat Friend.”

13 Jun

Did I just buy a new bracelet? Yup. Was I supposed to buy my dad a Father’s Day gift? Yup. Did I get it? Nope. Better luck tomorrow.

Well it’s tomorrow and after yesterday’s failed shopping trip to the mall I have one day to buy my Dad a gift for me to have it shipped off so he can receive it by Saturday and open it on Sunday.

I’m not worried though. I do some of my best work in a crunch. I mean when it comes down to it I can shed 10lbs in a week when I know I’m going to be around now fat once skinny people.

Just brings joy to my self-esteem.

For the most part my pops is fairly easy to shop for. He’s like me; just don’t buy something I won’t like, easy huh?

Well for those of you fellow procrastinators or horrible gift givers I have 3 items to not buy when shopping for Father’s Day gifts.

“3 Things Your Dad Don’t Want For Father’s Day.”

  • Ties: If you haven’t noticed the previous ties you’ve bought he’s yet to wear them because they are hideous and unimaginative. Kind of like his confidence in you.
  • Tools: If he wanted another set of wrenches I’m sure he would have just cheated on your mom and use the money he let you borrow for gas to get there.
  • Cologne: How many times can he re-gift these bottles without people thinking he’s telling them they stink?

Other crappy things your dad don’t want: mugs, empty cards or anything with #1 Dad plastered on it.

When shopping for a gift for your dad think of some things you think he needs. Evaluate his closet, car and desk to see what he’s missing or interested in.

Don’t be afraid to buy something expensive I mean he did stick with your mom after she got fat from carrying you. That’s a feat in itself. Besides, no one really likes a homemade gift.

Well I’m off to trump my brother’s gift.

Remember, let your Father’s Day gift be an “I’m sorry” for all the disappointment you’ve brought to your dad.

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One Response to “Your Dad,”The Fat Friend.””

  1. Simply Chic June 15, 2012 at 12:55 am #

    gosh…i’m sitting here simultaneously laughing and cringing b/c you’re funny but i don’t have my dad a gift yet. yikes! i think i’ll just cook him dinner on sunday :) thanks for making me laugh and reminding me abt father’s day :)

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